And I’m glad for it’s keeping me company. I wish it will not stop until i go to bed and fall asleep. I’m nearly asleep on the chair haha. I miss this, just writing because the moment calls for it, I have stopped writing this way. I used to write everything, snipets on my tiny organizer of the highlights of the day, a full discourse when something troubled me, an exclamation – laden prose when something excites me. Writing has been an escape when i was an angsty teenager, and written words has kept me sane most of the time.
Today i write mostly of my travel adventures, of the places that I have been and the places I still would like to see. Is it because it is a safe topic to write about as opposed to really writing and sharing about yourself online ? I am not sure. But somehow writing about personal thoughts and feelings and have it read by other people, heck, have it possibly read by the whole connected world can be disconcerting. And it takes courage or foolishness.
I should know for once i wrote and posted on my old Friendster blog an open letter to a guy that broke my heart ages and eons ago. I got mixed reactions from people close to me, no wonder haha. I think it is still somewhere there if anybody is interested hehehe. Anyhow, even then up to now, i still considered that piece one of the best ‘outpouring’. 🙂 A classic example of ‘penfires‘.
I haven’t really written about why this site is called penfires.
I had so much angst at one point in time who thinks the world is out to get her, so unfair to her blah blah blah and as I’ve said i write to cope. And when i write then i write like I am being chased by a bull and the only way to escape the charging bull is to be faster, to be faster to reach that final ‘period’, that final ‘dot’, write like the pen is on fire, because I know after the last sentence, the last period i would feel okay.
‘Penfires‘ thus became a word i feel strongly connected to. That’s why this domain is named as such 🙂
Maybe you are confused and want to ask why I am writing all these NOW? Well, because I want calmness. All throughout the day I was on tenterhooks about an online writing job. But it doesn’t matter now, I have written it down and that solves it, I can now go to sleep and I am sure it will be a restful sleep.
Goodnight everyone! or Good morning! 🙂
(I hope I wont delete this posts tomorrow haha)